2:06am May 28,2006

It's 2:06am Australian Time now and im still up blogging.. I have a sense of depression coming to get me already. Im getting insomnia and on-the-way to getting some mood swings pretty soon i think.. Im controlling myself, i dont want anymore mood swings.. Im bringing myself so badly these few days.. It's tearing me apart.. I wanted to cry, to have one last good cry before i put all these behind me. And i do mean putting it all away... I need some things or perhaps some entertainment now to distract me from all these..

Anyway, it's been quite some times already since i read back msgs from my inbox, both hotmail and friendster.. And today, im back to those inbox-msg reading days.. I read every single mail from baybee, i go through every single words.. Im searching for the answers, im searching for the lovey-dovey feelings again.... I trace back the dates and times when we used to sent msgs... Im sitting here all alone in my dark room, reading through pages and pages of msgs we exchanged 2 yrs 1 month ago. How time flies.. Exactly 2 yrs 1 month ago, baybee added me in friendster and since then, we've been exchanging msgs everyday. Or perhaps 2 or 3 msgs in a day. It is great. I even drag myself to uni in the middle of the nite just to have a glimpse of his msg (Im sure i cant do that for the others)... I rmber im always feeling happy and all smiley when i reply to his mail, or when i stop-by to drop him a msg about my days in school.... And im always afraid of logging in to friendster. WHat if he havent reply my mail? What if he doesnt want to reply? What if afterall only im being so eager to receive mail from him? What if only im waiting everyday for his mail? What if....... Questions like this linger in my mind everyday...

But no, im just being paranoid myself. There's no what if in his life. There's no what if in the emails we sent.. There's no what if in our life.. We go on.....

And im missing those feelings so much......

Yawnz. Im half way through my report. TUU Inspection's on Monday. I've got clean-up to do tmrw. Im feeling hungry. I lost my roast chicken. Nobody admits he ate it. Maybe it flies away last night. Crap. And i lay my curse on you. Whoever ate my roast chicken. Well, exams here pretty soon so you know what i mean. Yes, im evil. But that's my only dinner. And now im famished.. Cos my only dinner is gone. Stoned.

Feeling sad all the time. I need a life. Yawnz. Stomach's growling. Time to continue my report. 2:27am now. For those who's already asleep, sweet dreamz. For those still typing away their report (like me!), go to bed!!!, and for those still studying for exams (like baybee!) all the best lor...

***Mixing up all kinds of alcohol you can find and down it in one go will pretty much give u a nice sleep***