A few dots of my life

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I dont know what to say. I dont know how i should put them into words. All i can is to put that few dots here. I just finish talking to baybee on the phone. And im feeling kind of distracted at the moment. I dont know why. One of the blues in my life right now? Crap! I dont even know what im talking about.

Xiang dao ni yao li kai, wo zheng de hen bu kai xin. Zhao bu dao ni de shi hou, it's just like end of the world. Ni gao shu wo, wo hen xiang ni de zhi hou gai zhe me ban? Why am i feeling this way? Shi bu shi yin wei wo tai ai ni? Is it wrong to love someone so deeply? Why must God put this test on us? Sigh.... Zhen de hen bu kai xin =(

I know you cannot tahan this "nagging" dear.. That's why i nag to my blog.

Wo zhi dao. I love you too much to let you go. I just want you to be upon my armlength. I want to be able to reach out to you whenever i want. Shi yin wei wo tai ai ni le.

People grows up. We all grow up. I need to grow up mentally as well. I need to learn to live my life without you. But i know i just can't do it. Without you, my life would be meaningless i know. Without you, there would be no life in me. I know it.

So many rubbish "dots" of my life. I just cant bear to let go. Baybee will be changing work from 1U to work with Khang. That means staying together with him. That means no phone line access in his house. That means what??? That means i have to cut off my communication from baybee already. That means death. And death is sad. So cry. And cry. And cry and cry.

No, i dont have tears flowing out of my eyes. I just cry in my heart, upon the thoughts that i have to be lonely during my long-awaited holidays. And my biggest fear is always LONELINESS. So why is life treating me this way??? Darn!

I admit i do have great phobia towards loneliness. Change me not. It's in my gene.