hungry

6:24pm hobart time.

And im getting SO hungry already!
Just had lunch when i touched down.

Sigh...

Im tearing up

So in case you didnt know, it's not exactly the happiest day of my life - I'm back in Hobart

*rolls eyes*

The 7 and a half hour flight back did not do good for me. The food sucked. (Seriously, i ADORE plane food, but this time, it really sucked. The only think i was looking forward to the journey back.) *Sigh* This time, it was some squeezy omelette with a tiny piece of hash brown (cos damn! i can't have nasi lemak) for breakfast, and for noon-tea, a stale bun and hardly appetizing muffin. And i am supposed to stop eating carbs. Lesson learnt? Beggars are not choosers.

I couldnt really sleep (whyyy couldnt they have upgraded me??) And the movie selection was a snore fest. It was the exact same programmes shown as when i was flying back to KL. All the movies and tv comedies i have seen before. And the only show that was worth watching twice was Agent Cody Banks. Which i watched with brother already... And watching it again alone would only make me cry.

Speaking of which. I cried. The usual la. I cry at everything what... *sniffles* And the one-hour flight delay was really no good. Made mum worry so much when i didnt call home at the exact time. which, after talking to mum over the phone, made me cry myself to sleep.

The last goodbye outside the gate made me hug everyone and cry. Cry and struggle with my luggage ALONE.

And when i came home, saw all the little post-its sis and Connie left me all over my room with the thoughtful things she did to make my homecoming more bearable (stocked my shelves, kept my updated on stuff, kept my room immaculately clean) made me tear again.

As sis put it "Normal la you... Everything cry."

In fact, I'm tearing now.

*Regina lets out breath*

Phew... Things are going back to how it was. Tough.

I hope i survive this next 11 months better than before.

And now, i can't wait for my next trip home.

I can't wait...

I really cannot wait.

And it's only less than 24 hours since i touched down.

~*Regina is feeling homesick*

Its My First Time

Its my first time flying alone tomorrow morning...

Jitters.

~*Regina is feeling worried*
~*Regina is listening to Say Something - Mariah Carey fet snoop dogg*

the end is drawing near...

The end is drawing near,
This was what i feared,
For there is no time,
To do what i want.

Nothing much has changed really,
Things said taken too easily,
It won't be long before my tears fall,
When i have to again say goodbye...

This time,
I dont even have that someone to Kiss me Goodbye.

~*Regina is feeling disappointed*
~*Regina is listening to Heaven - Ayumi Hamasaki*

3 times

I already cried 3 times today.

And i havent even left yet.

Me eyes are so swollen now.

Expect the worst tomorrow morning...

Dreading the flight back

I hate flying alone.... REALLY HATE it. Why?

1) Cos i get a bit jittery during flights. Who's going to calm my nerves?

2) Then, there is also this problem: i lack in height. So i'll be so embarassed being unable to lift my hand carry into the overhead compartment. And retrieving it as well. Once, i climbed onto the seat and hung at the edge trying to get it down. Anyway, super pai seh...

3) Its so uncomfortable to sleep in the plane without your head falling onto the person next to you. I get the worst crick in my neck everytime i attempt to sleep like that.

4) You think i could get a window seat and just lean against the window when i sleep?

5) HA! You must be forgetting my old granny bladder problem. Going out to the toilet from the inside seat every hour isnt going to make the other passengers very happy.

6) I think i look very ugly when i sleep.

And when im not asleep, i have to wear my glasses because my eyes would become really dry (some nonsensical logics i know). A sight of me that not many has seen. And i would prefer if not many sees.

7) And its a long flight with limited stretch room.

8) And my luggage is unbelievable heavy.

~*Regina is feeling worried*
~*Regina is listening to I Bruise Easily - Natasha Bedingfield*

*Sigh*

1 more week before i have to leave Miri.

32nd monthsary

Happy 32nd Monthsary, BaYBee dear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Muaks muaks muaks muaks muaks!!!!!

You're the best! Love ya!

*hugs*

The bicycle i used to have..

I remember the days when i had my bicycle beside me almost everyday...
Those days were filled with laughter and no concerns. Everyday was carefree and filled with stupid jokes with the wind in my long hair...
Now... it seems like so long ago. Everything is but a distant memory...

Friends...

Ely told me before i came back to Msia, that sooner or later, i wont really want to hang out with my old friends from Miri anymore. Not because they have changed, but because i have been conditioned by the external elements from the world beyond.
"You soon would find that you have less and less in common with them, hence less things to talk about."

I thought to myself "how could that be? Miri is my life. My friends back here are the best things that i have ever had. They are the ones who listened to my problems and really did laugh at my lame jokes. I can hardly imagine being quiet with them. They know me so well..."

Well, i was wrong.

I met up with a few friends over the weekend. To be honest, it was a little awkward. I never imagined that it would be this way... When i was in Australia, i missed the people back home so much. I thought that when i arrived in Miri, i would jump at every free moment i have, filling them with catching up with friends. But i didnt... And when i did meet with them, it was a little disappointing.

It was filled with uncomfortable silence; people reading magazines, people looking at their handphones, people talking to the people that they see everyday.

A few exchanges of "how have you been?" And that was pretty much it.

Things somehow seemed different. Weird even.

My old friends seem different, and i'm not just talking about the darkening of already-not-so-fair skin, the different hair styles or even the hideous croc rubber shoes (which im also wearing) *muahahahhahaha*. I'm talking about things that we talk about in general. The many questions that our minds were screaming "errr-dunno-what-to-say-leh", "why-everybody-so-quiet?", "mat-yerh-la?"....

I felt out of place. =(

The only consolation this weekend was that when i saw them, one after another, i told Lydia "Heng arr... I'm not the only one..." I wasnt the only one who gained weight. *lets out evil laugh*

Everyone did.

hahahha At the very least, i am glad that everyone seemed happier than before

After this, im not even sure if meeting up with any other friends this time round is such a good idea.

I dont know if i can bear another awkward silence and uncomfortableness.

You know what i've just realised?

I've lost the spark with friends back home, and never developed the same bond with those in HObart. And it's just not the same. I will never feel the same for the people in Australia like i felt for the people here. Believe me. It will never happen.

That's just great.
I am in between With No Friends.

Crap.

The only consolation is that i have my BaYBee, Jessica, and S.Khiung... They are the only ones who remained the same.

To a wonderful 2007

It's 4 days into the new year already... Time really flies. The year didnt exactly start with a bang. I have no zest for the coming year. No "oomph", no surge of adrenaline. I spent the first one hour of 2007 sleeping. If the first steps are a sign of how well things will go in the future, then, it doesnt look too good for me. =P It's time to change my attitude. Work towards my goal in life.